Living on the road for 4 months and driving over 10,000 miles in our converted minivan has provided us with many helpful hints for spending extended time on the road with a 4 year old.
1. Create a basic plan for your trip, but understand that flexibility is key. We would lay out all the things we aimed to see or accomplish but we also had the understanding that we had to travel and spend time at each of those locations on a 4 year-old's time constraints. This would include how far we drove, the extra things we would stop and see, the number of stops we would make, the types of places where we would stop, and the length of time we would stay at each stop. 2. Visit friends and family along the route whenever possible. Will and I are cool but boy did she crave interactions with other people, especially small people. They have rooms, and cool new toys, new foods and often pets that Dylan would crave. We were fortunate to have family and friends in many of the states to which we would visit. 3. Take time to find opportunities for the kids to interact with other kids. Look for city parks or playgrounds for the kids to be kids and continue to interact with other kids....especially if you are travelling with kids that are in the age group just learning how to play with other kids so that they don't loose their child communication skills (sharing, taking turns, speaking kindly). This may sound silly, but we noticed Dylan would slip into selfishness quickly when she wasn't given the opportunity to interact with kids. 4. Alone time. When living in such a small space and being together 24/7 it is important for all those involved to have some time to themselves - even if it is only for a few minutes a day....a walk on the beach alone, sitting in the van while the other takes the child for a play at the playground, an early morning walk before the others awoke, staying up late to stargaze while the other two are in bed, even things like shopping alone, laundromat alone and even a 10 minute shower can rejuvenate you for the day. 5. Ensure everything has its own space and put it there each day. Living in such a tight space and having all the gear needed for your time on the road can make for a very messy van by the end of the day. We found that if we did one good tidy up each day that we weren't so overwhelmed. 6. Extra space. Going along with number 5, ensure that when you are preparing for your trip you leave a little bit of extra room for the the things you collect or accumulate along the way. 7. Ensure your child knows where their things are and make them accessible as possible. Rig up your child's travel space so that they can reach the things they use regularly, that way they can be a little more self-sufficient while you are actually travelling. We strapped a travel table to the seat in front of Dylan with all her art supplies and electronics - that way she could work on things without us having to help. She also had a bin at her feet, below her car seat, that housed all of her things...it had her hiking pack, her backpack of toys, and extras that pertain to her. That way she always knew where her things were and could help with the clean up each day. 8. Balance treats and healthy snacks. It is very easy to stop at a gas station to grab a treat when on potty breaks or gassing up but all those treats add up. We learned to avoid gas stations for potty breaks and go to rest stops or visitors centers so that she (or us for that matter) wasn't tempted. Make sure to have a supply of quick grab, healthy snacks available at all times for in the car and to throw in your backpack for hikes. Also, in order to allow Dylan to have some control, she had a wallet with her own money that she could spend as she saw fit. Often times it was on treats, but other times she would save for a toy or souvenir. Before leaving on our trip, we had a half-birthday party for her with her friends in Utah. Many of her friends gave her gift cards for places like 7-11 which worked very well. 9. Budget for a few of the extra experiences along the way. I feel as though we did a fantastic job of living quite minimally while living on the road BUT we did ensure that we saved a bit of money for a few of the iconic things to do in each of the areas...like whale-watching in the Puget sound, or eating really good BBQ in Texas, and our biggest expense, Disneyland. 10. Find your spot for the night while it is still light. We found that for peace of mind and peace in the van that finding our spot before dinner was the best plan for our family. Halfway through our travels, we heard about an app called iOverlander which provides excellent suggestions from campgrounds to free overnight parking areas. Definitely a resource we would recommend.
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Since she was about 3 years old Dylan has been asking to get her ears pierced. In Utah, many girls have theirs pierced as babies or when they are quite young. We have always lived by the motto that we will allow her to make decisions for her body when she has the ability to make them. At that time, we told her that if by her 5th birthday she still felt as though she wanted them done that we would take her. Well, after 2 years of constant asking, the time came. Will found a tattoo/piercing parlor in Halifax and off she went - with confidence and very little fear. We did not sugar coat anything but laid out the entire process of what to expect, including the pain and care, and she strutted into that parlor without hesitation. She is now almost 2 months into having it done and has been diligent on the up keep and care. There were no complaints even when she had to pass up going swimming, even when we had a hotel with a pool twice, while we waited the initial first month of healing.
The Utah-based Bollder Clan grew in December with the birth of Bridger Boyd Hill on the 10th! On December 7th, Carolyn flew out to Utah to be with Aubrey, Stephen and Carver and to help with logistics during the birth of baby Bridger: I arrived early afternoon on Friday and we were able to spend the weekend visiting with all the big kids; shopping, eating out, loads of playing with Carver and family dinners. Then, on Sunday morning, Aubrey's blood pressure was remaining high enough that her midwives made the call to have her come in that evening to be induced. They left the house at around 7:30 pm for the hospital and Carver and I spent our first night alone together. He was a little upset that mommy wasn't there to help him fall asleep, but after about 3-4 minutes of tears he feel asleep beside me and we had fantastic snuggles all night long (of course I kept him in bed with me - I don't get many Carver snuggles, so I had to take advantage when I got the chance). December 10th - Carver and I woke up early and gave Aub's and Steve a call at the hospital. They let us know that things were progressing but that she was still comfortable so she wanted to have Carver with her for a while. By 11 am we could tell things were going quickly so it was time to call Papa Mike (Stephen's dad) to grab Carver for the afternoon during the tough part of the delivery. Carver, who is now 2.5 and smart as a whip, has been very excited to meet his little brother but LOVES his Papa Mike, so they had a great time for the afternoon while I got to stay with Aubrey during the delivery. Being with Aubrey and Stephen during this time was one of the most powerful experiences I have ever gone though. To watch my daughter accomplish something so intimate and natural, all without any chemical aid was humbling. She made a goal to not get any pain meds, and she achieved it without wavering at all. I can't express the feeling of watching the strength and determination that she possesses. She has always been one of the strongest women I know, but being with her during this experience showed me the strength of her body, mind and soul. To see the pure love that she possessed for that small person, and the beautiful instincts that flowed during this time filled my soul. I was able to spend another 5 days with this new little family as they manoeuvred their way of learning how to be a family of 4...which honestly, they feel into seamlessly. The next 5 days were spent getting to know this new little member of our crazy gang, visiting with the older members of our family (the older boys) and generally just enjoying each other's company.
Welcome to the world, and our crazy family, Bridger - we are so very excited to watch you grow into the incredible human I see in you already. Love, Nana |
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April 2019
AuthorCarolyn and Will Bollwerk share their adventures with their 5 year-old daughter, Dylan. |